Resilience and Personality
There are very few differences in people, but the little differences make a big difference in terms of your ability to cope with life transitions. Optimism and resilience energize you, and bring out your potential and joy. Pessimism weakens you, and drains any chance for joy and creativity.
I help my clients discover ways to use their loss in positive ways.
Resilience
Resilience or “hardiness” is the capacity to withstand and adapt well to traumatic and stressful experiences. It’s the strength you find deep within yourself to accept the turn of events in your life, and intuitively know that you will go on to rebuild your life.
You don’t have to be born with resilience; it is something that can be learned and taught. It involves self-awareness of thoughts and feelings, and new actions you can control and change. Resiliency transforms pain into meaning, and gives us back our power and hope.
Resilient people do not let adversity define them, even if they feel despair and broken, there’s a deeper knowing, “this will not be like this forever.” Because resilient people have a more optimistic way of looking at life challenges, they are not pulled under while other’s fall apart.
People with resiliency have a greater sense of control over their lives (“self-efficacy”) and find ways of turning adversity into advantages. Embracing goals and transcending the pain strengthens healing and positive solutions.
Increasing your resiliency will make you stronger navigating the waves of mourning and life setbacks.
10 Tools to Increase Your Resilience:
Accept yourself unconditionally.
Accept that change is part of life.
Avoid seeing crises as insurmountable problems.
Pump up the positive and nurture a positive view of yourself.
Develop a high frustration tolerance and dispute negative beliefs.
Commit to something outside yourself and look for opportunities of self-discovery.
Open your heart.
Take care of yourself and engage in activities that you enjoy.
Exercise and eat healthy.
Get out of your head.
Personality Style: Optimists vs Pessimists
People have distinct personality styles when it comes to dealing with life’s setbacks. Optimists believe things are going to get better while pessimist do not.
Are you an optimist or a pessimist?
Optimists
”The optimist sees the rose and not the thorns, the pessimist stares at the thorns, oblivious to the rose”- Kahil Gibran
Optimism is a hopeful and positive outlook on yourself, your future, and your life in general.
Resilience is a key component in optimists that helps them get through difficult times. Optimist believe defeat is a temporary setback, and its causes are changeable and transient. Optimists try to control what they can; are psychologically flexible and open; and mindfully choose thoughts to feel better and stronger. Optimists work to change the way they deal with negative thoughts and feelings.
Pessimists
“A pessimist is one who makes difficulties of his opportunities and an optimist is one who makes opportunities of his difficulties.” -Harry Truman
Pessimists believe defeat is permanent and pervasive, and tend to personalize what has happened to them. Pessimism is the belief that “the glass is half empty.” Pessimists struggle with self-esteem; have a tendency to believe the worst will happen; and have little hope for the future. Pessimists are psychologically inflexible, rigid thinkers who choose thoughts that make them feel powerless and are victims, unable to tap into inner strength to navigate life’s adversities. It’s unfortunate, many people fall into being pessimistic because it seems easier than being optimistic.
But healthy living involves a balance of realistic optimism with emotional resilience.
Optimists are problem-solvers, focusing on solutions; pessimists are complainers, focusing on problems.
Which one would you like to be?