Life is full of loss and life is full of joy. Learning to navigate unexpected hardship is difficult but not impossible. Changing your life is possible, not impossible.  Having hope for a future and living well are possible, and thriving after loss is your goal.

There is more to who you are than you realize. If through adversity you are able to see your inner strength, for the rest of your life you will be unwilling to settle for less.

Grieving is not a short-term process, but is a lifetime journey. Navigating transitions and change offers you the opportunity to “begin once again” through personal discovery and growth.

You have the capacity to be creative, balanced, and resilient even if you are experiencing deep pain and lack faith.

And while everyone grieves, not everyone heals.

Bereavement

In bereavement, it is important that grievers find some way of understanding what happened to them, which allows them to accept it and integrate the loss into their life, rather than just finding meaning and purpose.

Grieving requires work and is an active, not passive, process.  At some stage in grief it’s up to you; to believe you are greater than your pain and while you can’t change whatever has happened, you can begin to change yourself. Grieving can strengthen your trust in life’s ability to renew itself even if it feels like everything has stopped.

Ask yourself, “As I try to accept this loss; what helps me and what stands in my way and are there other ways I can manage my pain I haven’t even thought of.” This process encourages healing as grief demands we change and make positive committed choices.

Death doesn’t end the relationship, it simply forges a new one, based on  spirit and memories. People confronted with the pain of loss need comfort. We are not use to thinking of loss as a journey toward comfort and the concept may seem unusual, but that is what resilient people do. Children and adults who survive adversity usually have someone they can to talk to, someone who comforts them and provides hope and connection.

You will always be connected to your loved one. Your shared love is not frozen and in time; you will keep the spirit of your loved one alive in your heart and actions. In time, you too will draw comfort from remembering the relationship you shared with your loved one.  And in time, when you think and talk about the deceased, you will realize you have not lost everything and part of the relationship is still alive.  There is power in memories as well as power in directing your thinking to aspects of loss that forces us to expand not shrink.

 Integrative Bereavement Model 

• Shock & Denial

• Pain & Guilt

• Anger, Depression & Loneliness

• The Upward Turn

• Reconstruction & Working It Through

• Acceptance & Hope

Risks Factors For Complicated Grief

• Death of a child or spouse

• Lack of family or social support

• How they found out about the death - “The Death Surrounding Circumstances”

• History of anxiety or depression before the loss

• The death was violent or traumatic

• Long term marriage with strong dependency needs on the lost spouse